[audience murmuring]
[woman] ♪ Sugar ♪
-♪ Sugar ♪ -[audience applauding]
-♪ Sugar ♪ -[woman 2] ♪ Butter ♪
-♪ Sugar ♪ -♪ Butter ♪
-[woman 3] ♪ Flour ♪ -♪ Sugar ♪
-♪ Butter ♪ -♪ Flour ♪
["Sugar, Butter, Flour" harmonizing]
♪ My hands pluck the things I know that I need ♪
♪ I'll take the sugar And butter from the pantry ♪
♪ I add the flour to begin What I am hoping to start ♪
♪ And then it's down With the recipe ♪
♪ And bake from the heart ♪
♪ Sugar ♪
♪ And butter ♪
♪ And flour ♪
♪ And mother ♪
♪ What's inside? ♪
♪ Everyone wants to know What's inside? ♪
♪ And I always tell them But I... ♪
♪ Feel more than words Can say ♪
♪ You want to know What's inside? ♪
♪ Simple question, so then What's the answer? ♪
-♪ My whole life is in here ♪ -♪ What's inside? ♪
-♪ In this kitchen baking ♪ -♪ What's inside? ♪
-♪ What a mess I'm making ♪ -[man] Jenna!
-[upbeat music] -What's the special pie today?
-Deep shit blueberry bacon. -Deep shit?
Dish! Deep dish! Sorry, Cal.
♪ The day starts like The rest we've seen ♪
♪ Another carbon copy Of an old routine ♪
-♪ Days keep coming ♪ -♪ One out, one in ♪
♪ They keep coming ♪
Make the coffee strong enough to chew.
♪ I don't know What I wish I had ♪
♪ But there's no time now For thinking things like that ♪
-♪ We've got too much to do ♪ -♪ Too much to do ♪
♪ All these same things We're always ♪
♪ Opening up ♪
♪ Letting the day in ♪
♪ Over a cup, we'll say ♪
♪ Hello, how you been? ♪
♪ Looking around ♪
♪ Seeing the same things ♪
♪ Every day brings ♪
-♪ Hello, how you been? ♪ -♪ Hello, how you been? ♪
-♪ Thank you ♪ -♪ Thank you ♪
♪ Come again! ♪
♪ Some things never change ♪
♪ Some things Never change ♪
♪ I wouldn't call this place A happy end ♪
♪ But I've been 'Round the block ♪
♪ And just came back again ♪
♪ A small town like ours Ain't much ♪
♪ But sometimes home Is where your ass ends up ♪
-♪ Order up! ♪ -♪ Ordered up is how the day Will find me ♪
♪ Everything in its place And timing ♪
♪ I like the way Most of the days ♪
♪ Look exactly the same ♪
[Cal] ♪ Order up ♪
♪ Check the clock Tick, tick, tock ♪
♪ Don't stop Serve with a smile ♪
♪ Hurry up Fill the coffee cup ♪
♪ And then in a while ♪
♪ Take a breath When you need ♪
♪ To be reminded that with ♪
♪ Days like these ♪
♪ We can only do The best we can ♪
-♪ Till we do it again ♪ -♪ Come on, move it now ♪
-♪ Opening up ♪ -♪ Hello ♪
-♪ How you been? ♪ -♪ Thank you ♪
-♪ Opening up ♪ -♪ Some things never change ♪
♪ Some things never change ♪
-♪ Hello, how you been? ♪ -♪ Hello, how you been? ♪
-♪ Thank you ♪ -♪ Thank you ♪
♪ Come again! ♪
♪ Some things never change ♪
[applause]
-[bell dings] -Order up!
-Becky! -[bell dings]
Come on, Becky, put some hustle in that bustle.
Cal, does your ass ever get jealous
of the constant crap that comes out of your mouth?
Ooh, howdy, Joe. What'll it be?
It's warm in here. I'm warm.
-Okay, I'll let Cal know. -Let Cal know.
-I'll let Cal know. -Okay, listen up.
Today, I want a big piece of your deep dish blueberry bacon pie
with my scrambled eggs and toast.
And a tomato on the side on its own plate.
Okay. No potatoes with that?
Did I say anything about potatoes?
Where'd you get potatoes from?
Okay, no potatoes. Tomato. That everything?
No. I also want coffee. But don't bring that first.
Bring me water first with the meal and the coffee after.
Are you okay? Am I making you sick?
Sorry, I'm just feeling a tad queasy.
-[piano music] -You okay, Jenna?
Yeah, I'm fine. Too much coffee is all.
Avoiding it ain't gonna make it go away.
-No. -Hey. Hey. Hey!
-Where the hell y'all going? -To the beach. Pack us a lunch.
There's no one on the floor!
Am I supposed to put on a waitress uniform myself?
Hey, whatever floats your boat, Cal.
Let me remind you I can fire your ass.
Sorry, Cal, we can't hear you. The water's running.
Get out here!
I'm only saying it once.
This is the last time I'm gonna say it!
Dammit.
Hey, I gotta get back to my table.
Jenna, time to pee on a stick.
Oh, I don't wanna know!
♪ Come on, honey, You've waited long enough ♪
♪ Get to it and do it ♪
-Okay, girls, enough! -♪ You know what we mean ♪
♪ I hope you drank Enough this morning ♪
♪ Come on, sweetie, It's better to know ♪
♪ We'll be right here With you, so ♪
♪ It's no or it's yes ♪
♪ But either way, You gotta take the test ♪
♪ A squat and a squeeze, A prayer and a please, It's nothing ♪
♪ A stick and a line ♪
♪ Just one of 'em If I'm lucky ♪
♪ A pot and a piss, Here we go, sis ♪
♪ And we'll keep our focus on ♪
♪ The negative ♪
Here. All right, read the instructions.
-Se puede saber... -In English!
Oh. Do not insert the test stick into your vagina.
Wow. Thank you, Dawn!
♪ How'd I ever Get myself in this mess? ♪
♪ One drunk night And that stupid red dress ♪
Oh, I love that red dress. The way it sparkles
it looks like an ice skating outfit.
Stay with us, Dawn.
♪ Maybe his machinery Is broken somehow ♪
What if his boys don't swim?
I mean, wow, miraculous luck.
Yeah, miraculous.
♪ To get away With an uprotected fu-- ♪
♪ Funny how one night can Ruin your whole life ♪
♪ Don't go there yet We don't know what The test says ♪
-♪ I'm already panicked ♪ -♪ Just calm down, goddammit ♪
♪ Maybe it'll all be fine ♪
♪ Maybe there'll be Just one line ♪
♪ Come on, negative ♪
I thought you don't sleep with your husband much anymore.
We got drunk. I do stupid things when I drink.
Like sleep with my husband.
Honey, we've all made that mistake.
♪ Focus on the negative ♪
♪ This will all be all right ♪
♪ It was only one night ♪
♪ Someone send me a sign ♪
♪ One line, One line ♪
[timer dings]
♪ That means The test is ready ♪
♪ This is it ♪
[music continues]
-Shit. -[music ends]
[applause]
-Honey, are you all right? -Shh, shh, shh.
I'm inventing a new pie in my head.
-♪ Sugar ♪ -Of course you are.
I'm gonna call it I Don't Want Earl's Baby Pie.
I don't think we can write that on the menu board.
Then I'll just call it Betrayed By My Eggs Pie.
What's gonna be in it?
Crack an egg, combine with sausage
and soak it in beer,
mix in cheesy red dressing
and add extra shortening in your crust
to trap the moisture in forever.
Jenna, this ain't something you can just tuck into a pie.
Hey! Pledge the sorority later!
Y'all don't do your work, I'll dock your pay.
And, lady, you are really pushing my buttons today.
Hmm, well, which one is mute?
Waitress!
Who do you have to know around here to get a piece of pie?
-Earl -Hey sweet thing.
Hey, what are you doing here?
Taking the rest of the day off.
What about work?
That friggin' foreman.
So he was on my ass for being late.
But I told him don't blame the line at Taco Bell on me.
I don't belong in that shit job.
-Where's my kiss? -Earl, I got to get back to work.
They can wait.
How we doing today?
Yeah, it's not bad, but it's not great.
Hey, you know what? I've been thinking.
I don't think it's worth you working here at this diner.
-I don't like those girls. -[slams]
That one looks at me like I just killed her dog.
No, I think I'd rather have you home
baking me pies all day long.
Oh, damn this is tasty.
Yeah? Last piece left.
It sold so fast today I couldn't quite believe it.
Oh, don't go getting a big head or nothing.
I mean, this is good,
but let's face it, you ain't no Sara Lee.
You used to say my pies were so good I could open my own shop.
I was just trying to get laid.
♪ Sugar ♪
My husband's a jerk chicken pot pie.
Pound chicken 'til it's unrecognizable.
Pack flour quickly.
Use only essential ingredients.
Then simmer without a lid,
allowing the vapor to escape swiftly from the mixture.
Jenna! Jenna! Jenna!
You're not listening to me!
And you know what? I work hard.
And you want for nothing, you can't even listen to me.
-[bell ringing] -I'll work on that, Earl.
Am I imagining it?
Are your boobies getting bigger?
Like they practically grew a whole size overnight.
[laughs] That's crazy, Earl.
Maybe you're just eating a little too much pie.
Mm-hmm.
All right, I'm outta here.
Hey, you tell your friends about this bad boy?
Earl.
In medieval font.
Now don't get too close 'cause the ink is still drying.
Now that must be helpful,
just in case he forgets who he is.
Jenna, life is a shit show.
My left boob is now so much lower than my right
I'm lucky I don't trip over it.
And I'm married to Drooling Phil The Invalid
and buying Depends by the bulk.
And Dawn here has never had a boyfriend
and eats TV dinners alone every night.
Chicken Kiev on Monday, veal piccata on Tuesday.
But we still wouldn't rather be you.
No, we sure wouldn't.
Everybody's got something they're dealing with.
Don't worry about me. It'll be fine.
Yeah, some father Earl's gonna be.
Look, hon,
don't hold yourself to vows and promises you made
when you were too young to know who the hell he really was!
Earl wasn't always like this.
He's just going through a rough time is all.
What's the shelf life on that excuse.
I couldn't even afford to leave him now.
[gasps] You can move in with me.
It's a studio, but I have a full size twin.
That's real sweet, Dawn, but I have a baby coming.
Jenna, dust the flour out of your brain.
Do that baby a favor and leave his sorry ass.
-He'd never let me. -Honey, it's not up to him.
Okay, look, I got 14 pies to make that ain't gonna bake themselves.
-Jenna! -Life's Just Peachy Peachy Keen pie.
-Jenna! -Where There's A Whisk There's A Way pie.
Oh, Lord
♪ Make it work ♪
♪ Make it easy ♪
♪ Make it clever ♪
♪ Craft it into pieces Make it sweet ♪
♪ Crimp the edges ♪
♪ Or make it sour and serve With lemon wedges ♪
♪ Even doubt Can be delicious ♪
♪ And it washes off Of all the dirty dishes ♪
♪ When it's done I can smile ♪
♪ It's on someone else's Plate for a while ♪
♪ I'll place it on display ♪
♪ And then I'll slice ♪
♪ And serve my worries away ♪
♪ I can fix this ♪
♪ I can twist it ♪
♪ Into sugar butter Covered pieces ♪
♪ Never mind What's underneath it ♪
♪ I have done it before ♪
♪ I'll bake me a door ♪
♪ To help me get through ♪
♪ I learned that From you, Mama ♪
♪ It's amazing What baking can do ♪
[vocalizing]
♪ Make it up ♪
♪ And surprise them ♪
♪ Tell them all my secrets But disguise them ♪
♪ So they dance On the tongues ♪
♪ Of the very people That they're secret from ♪
♪ Make it soon Make it better ♪
♪ Though better never Lasts forever ♪
♪ I'll make it small ♪
♪ So it fits ♪
♪ Even this ♪
♪ Even now ♪
♪ Even as the walls come tumbling down ♪
♪ Even as I can't stop Remembering how ♪
♪ Every door we ever made ♪
♪ We never once walked out ♪
♪ Something I never Got the chance ♪
♪ To ask her about ♪
♪ So with flour On my hands ♪
♪ I'll show them all how ♪
♪ Goddamn happy I am... ♪
♪ Sugar, butter, flour ♪
♪ Don't let me down ♪
♪ Let's see the next Amazing thing ♪
♪ Baking does now ♪
-[music ends] -[applause]
[upbeat music]
-♪ Knock, knock ♪ -♪ Knock, knock ♪
-♪ Who's there? ♪ -♪ Who's there? ♪
-♪ Knocked up ♪ -♪ Knocked up who? ♪
-♪ You there ♪ -♪ Join us ♪
Mrs. Hunterson, the doctor will see you now.
♪ Welcome to Club Knocked Up ♪
-♪ Knock, knock ♪ -♪ Who's there? ♪
-♪ Precious ♪ -♪ Precious who? ♪
♪ Precious little parasite Who set its sight on you ♪
♪ Dream come true ♪
♪ Welcome to Club Knocked Up ♪
[knocks]
Hello. Mrs. Bunterson?
Hunterson. Who are you?
I'm your doctor?
I'm Doctor Pomatter. You brought a pie?
Gah, you know, I've only been in town a few weeks
I'm already-- I am-- I am so impressed
with the genuine hospitality of the place.
You're not my doctor. Lily Perkins is my doctor.
This pie is for her. It's her favorite.
Mermaid Marshmallow.
I am sorry to say she's not seeing any patients.
She is semi-retired now.
What?
Long story. Making it short.
I'm the junior doctor on staff.
I am from Connecticut.
I just moved here two weeks ago.
-Are you bored yet? -Yes. No.
I'm so sorry. Anyway, if you're not comfortable
having me as your doctor...
that's fine.
My feelings will not be hurt.
You can just go
and you can get yourself another gynecologist in the area.
But Dr. Perkins delivered me.
She's been my doctor forever. I really like and trust her.
Maybe you can really like and trust me, too?
It doesn't happen that fast,
but I'll try.
Okay. Okay, that's good.
I'm your doctor.
-It's nice to meet you, Mrs. Bunterson. -Hunterson.
Hunterson.
So what seems to be the problem?
-Well, I seem to be pregnant. -Well, hey, that's good.
It's great. It's good for you. Congratulations.
Thanks, but I don't want this baby.
Okay. I can refer you to a doctor who performs--
No, no, no. I'm keeping it.
Not that I judge that.
I'm just telling you I'm not so happy about it
like everybody else might be, so maybe you could be sensitive
and not congratulate me and make a big deal every time you see me.
I'm having the baby, that's that.
It's not a party, though.
Not a party.
-[knock on door] -Yes?
Excuse me, Doctor.
Mrs. Flannigan wants to talk to you
about doulas before she leaves.
-Doulas? -Mm-hmm.
Yeah, I have no idea what that is.
No, come on. I'm only joking.
Of course I know what that is.
-Mm-hmm. -[mouths]
And here are Mrs. Hunterson's blood test results.
Well...
un-congratulations. You're definitely having a baby.
Well, un-thank you.
Do you have any concerns?
You know, do's and don'ts?
Exercise or sex?
Don't really do much of either.
Okay. Here's your prescription for your pre-natal vitamins.
Nurse Norma is just gonna give you a list of the good and the bad foods.
That's just like caffeine and alcohol and et cetera.
It's very nice--
[applause]
it's very nice meeting you, Jenna.
I'm gonna-- I'm gonna see you again, you know,
in three weeks.
-I do have one question. -Yeah. Yeah, shoot.
How pregnant am I?
Very.
I mean, there's really only one degree of pregnancy, so to speak.
No, no. [laughs]
I mean how far along? [laughs]
You're eight weeks, Give or take.
Okay, so I don't start showing for a while, right?
-Right. -Good, then I have a little time.
Although it is quite beautiful, you know,
-when a woman's body begins to-- -Yeah, yeah, yeah.
-Dr. Pomatter? -Yeah?
I'm gonna give you this pie.
Oh, that looks absolutely delicious.
I am off sugar
It actually causes leptin resistance,
chromium deficiency, decreased longevity.
My mama used to say you can live to be 100
if you give up all the things that make you want to live to be 100.
Well the longer you're away from sugar the less you crave it.
I haven't had a piece of pie in years.
Really?
Life's hard enough.
[upbeat music]
[dreamy music]
[applause]
-[music ends] -Listen, Cal,
we had ketchups out there yesterday half-empty
and we all know, the fuller the condiments,
the fuller the experience.
I am so sorry. I'll make sure it never happens again.
Thank you, Dawn. I'll sleep tonight.
-You're late. -I'm sorry.
The bus driver was half asleep.
Why doesn't your damn husband buy you a car already?
Because he doesn't want me going nowhere.
And you!
Late again!
You're inches away from being fired, lady.
Okay, then fire me.
Okay I will.
Okay, then do!
[western music]
[applause]
So how was the doc?
Ugh, fine. It was fine.
New doctor. A man.
A man? Wow. He single?
Maybe he'd be good for Dawn.
What? Oh... [snort laughs] No, no, no.
I think he had a ring on.
Nice guy.
Nervous. From Connecticut.
Connecticut? What the hell is he doing here?
-I have no idea. -Girl, park it for a minute.
We bought you something.
-Not you. -Oh.
-A present. -That is so sweet.
You shouldn't have.
What a Mama You're Gonna Be.
I researched all the best baby books
and this one was so sweet.
Look here.
there's a place to write your first letter to your baby.
"Dear baby"
That's really great.
Now we know you didn't initially have a strong...
happiness about this pregnancy,
but she is coming anyway.
Oh, well, we don't know it's a she.
I mean, it could be an alien.
Now you're not getting any more affectionate toward this little baby?
-Not at all? -Not everyone wants to be a mama, Dawn.
That doesn't make me a bad person.
Can I interest the book club in some coffee
and a slice of Sit On Your Ass pie?
Oh, that's a good one, Cal.
And you know, I love what you've done with your hair.
Tell me, how'd you get it to come out your nostrils like that?
-Opening up! -Mm-hmm.
So did you tell Earl yet?
It didn't come up.
Hey, Dawn, did you finish writing your profile yet?
We're not done talking about you.
I think we are. Dawn?
Um, I'm still writing it.
You have been writing it for weeks.
Well, there's just not enough space to complete a compelling,
yet thorough, honest, description of myself.
Okay, well, why don't you run what you got by us?
Go ahead, honey. Let's hear it. Come on.
[clears throat]
Ecstatically alive,
fervently organized,
dynamic and witty, I am a woman of many passions
including a rare turtle collection.
I love the History Channel.
-Oh, now that's nice. -Oh, note.
I have played Betsy Ross
in 33 Revolutionary War reenactments.
Okay, well that'll set you apart from the crowd.
Oh, well, I'm calling myself
NewDawnRising.
-Too much? -No, no, no.
-Post it tonight! -No, this is a mistake.
Dawn, this is your one and only life.
♪ I stick with real things ♪
♪ Usually facts And figures ♪
♪ When information's In its place ♪
♪ I minimize The guessing game ♪
-♪ Guess what? -[both] ♪ What? ♪
♪ I don't like Guessing games ♪
♪ Or when I feel things Before I know the feelings ♪
♪ How am I supposed to operate ♪
♪ If I'm just tossed around By fate? ♪
♪ Like on an unexpected date ♪
♪ With a stranger Who might talk too fast ♪
♪ Or ask me questions About myself ♪
♪ Before I've decided that ♪
♪ He can ask me Questions about myself ♪
♪ He might sit too close ♪
♪ Or call the waiter By his first name ♪
♪ Or eat Oreos ♪
♪ But eat the cookie Before the cream ♪
♪ But what scares me the most ♪
♪ What scares me the most ♪
♪ Is what if When he sees me ♪
♪ What if he doesn't like it? ♪
♪ What if he runs The other way ♪
♪ And I can't hide from it? ♪
♪ What happens then ♪
♪ If when he knows me ♪
♪ He's only disappointed? ♪
♪ What if I give myself away ♪
♪ To only get it given back? ♪
♪ I couldn't live with that ♪
♪ How do you live with that? ♪
♪ So I'm just fine inside My shell-shaped mind ♪
♪ This way I get The best view ♪
♪ So that when he sees me ♪
♪ I want him to ♪
Dawn, don't you think you're being a little--
-I mean, just a tad-- -♪ I'm not defensive ♪
♪ I'm simply being cautious ♪
♪ I can't risk Reckless dating ♪
♪ Due to My miscalculating why ♪
♪ A certain suitor Stands in line ♪
♪ I've seen in movies, Most made for television ♪
♪ You cannot be too careful ♪
♪ When it comes To sharing your life ♪
♪ I could end up A miserable wife ♪
Sorry girls. ♪ But he could be criminal ♪
♪ Some sort of psychopath who Escaped from an institution ♪
♪ Somewhere where They don't have girls ♪
♪ He could have masterminded Some way to find me ♪
♪ He could be colorblind, How untrustworthy is that? ♪
♪ He could be less than kind ♪
♪ Or even worse He could be very nice ♪
♪ Have lovely eyes And make me laugh ♪
♪ Come out of hiding ♪
♪ What do I do with that? ♪
♪ Oh, God ♪
♪ What if when he sees me ♪
♪ I like him And he knows it? ♪
♪ What if he opens up a door And I can't close it? ♪
♪ What if you only open up ♪
♪ What happens when ♪
♪ If when he holds me ♪
♪ My heart is set in motion? ♪
♪ I'm not prepared for that ♪
♪ I'm scared of breaking open ♪
♪ But still I can't help From hoping ♪
♪ To find ♪
♪ Someone to talk to ♪
♪ Who likes the way I am ♪
♪ Someone who when he sees me ♪
♪ Wants to again ♪
[applause]
[bell ringing]
Do y'all plan to work today
or do you expect folks to serve themselves?
Works for me.
I don't think I invited anyone for breakfast.
Scoot! Vamoose! Skadoodle!
All right.
-Becky. -What?
Old Joe's in your section. Kinda owns the place.
Uh-uh, I can't deal with him today.
Oh, drop two menus at table three. I got him.
You're a trooper.
-Hiya, Joe. -It's warm in here.
-I'm warm. Turn the air on. -I'll tell Cal, hon.
They keep all my businesses too warm.
My gas station. My supermarket.
My laundromat. My diner.
I will not tolerate it being too damn warm.
I hear you, Joe.
Okay listen up. Today I want the special
Betrayed By My E--
Betrayed By My Eggs pie?
And a tomato on the side on its own plate.
-That everything? -No, I also want orange juice.
But don't bring that first. Bring the water first.
Bring the OJ with the meal.
Now listen to my horoscope before you skadoodle away.
"Aquarius. Smooth sailing today
as Mars enters your inner circle."
Whatever the hell that means.
Oh! "The ones you love
will listen carefully to you today,
so make sure you're careful with what you say."
I don't have ones I love. You want to hear yours?
I'm Aquarius too, hon.
And I don't have ones I love either.
Just ones I live with.
You got something in the oven other than a pie?
What?
You got a bun in the oven?
-Shh, quiet. -Yeah, I've seen that look on a woman before.
Her name was Annette.
I made sweet love to her all through the summer of 1948.
She got that same sick look on her face like you had
all through the fall.
Almost married her right up.
She lost the baby, though.
[laughs] Close call. When you due?
Hey, Joe, I don't want Cal to hear you.
Ooh, look here, the National Pie Bake Off
is in Springfield this year.
Last year's winner, Eunice Kevesdy,
spent her prize money on an RV
with a convection oven.
You should enter.
Oh come on, Joe.
My pies are good, but I'm no Sara Lee.
Prize money's $20,000.
♪ Sugar ♪
♪ Sugar, butter, flour ♪
Jumping Without A Net Bottomless pie.
Ah!
Pillows of the softest meringue
topped with ribbons of strawberry cream.
-No crust. -[camera clicks]
Getting Out Of The Mud mud pie.
Generous scoops of mocha almond ice cream...
-Uh, hello. -...topped with bittersweet chocolate morsels...
-Mrs. Hunterson? -...and slivered almonds.
-Mrs. Hunterson? -Dr. Pomatter.
-Hi. -Hi.
What are you doing here?
My car wouldn't start this morning.
I took the bus.
Forgot how much I love buses.
Do you always take the bus?
Tuesday nights my husband goes out drinking with the boys.
Oh, nice. For him.
That you let him.
Yeah. [laughs]
I love Tuesdays.
Where do you live?
Stanton Grove.
Oh, gosh, it's nice over there.
Oh, yeah. Yeah, sure, if you like trees.
You know.
No, I mean, who doesn't like trees?
You mind if I sit down?
No, not at all.
[crickets chirping]
-So, you're a waitress? -Yeah, I'm a waitress.
Ah. Where do you work?
A little place off of Highway 27.
Joe's Pie Diner.
We serve 27 different varieties of pie.
Wow. That sounds like a virtual pie factory.
No, I make all the pies fresh every morning.
Breakfast pies and lunch pies
and a special new pie I invent every day.
Wait, did you make that marshmallow pie that you gave me?
Yes, I did.
Mermaid Marshmallow.
I invented it with my mom when I was nine years old.
In my mermaid phase.
That was probably the best pie
that I have tasted in my entire life.
[laughs] You tried it?
[gasps] Well, I won't tell your doctor.
No. No, seriously.
It was biblically good. This is how good that was.
That pie could win contests
and ribbons and things.
What a thing to say.
I am so sorry. That was a compliment.
No, I know. That's why it made me uncomfortable.
Oh, God. No, you're blushing.
Nope, nope, shouldn't have said that.
No, you know, it's kinda funny.
[upbeat music]
It's just seeing you sitting here in your uniform.
♪ You remind me of a girl I once knew ♪
♪ God by now, She's well in middle age ♪
♪ Probably 41 or 42 ♪
Thank you.
Oh, my God. No, no, no. She was a waitress.
♪ At a shop I used To frequent quite a lot ♪
♪ Nice teeth And small hands ♪
♪ And snuck me goodies I couldn't afford then ♪
♪ She was sweet to me ♪
♪ Reminds me of you ♪
oh, nobody ever really notices me that way.
Somebody did, right?
No, because you've got the whole baby thing going on.
♪ She'd bake the pies Fresh every day ♪
♪ Like you, I guess, But I must say ♪
♪ If pies were books Yours would be Shakespeare's letters ♪
♪ You remind me of her, But better ♪
♪ It only takes a taste ♪
♪ When it's something special ♪
♪ It only takes a taste When you know it's good ♪
♪ Sometimes one bite Is more than enough ♪
♪ To know you want more ♪
♪ Of the thing you just got A taste of ♪
♪ That reminds me Of a thing we would say ♪
♪ Me and my mama ♪
♪ In the kitchen When we'd bake ♪
♪ She'd say, "Jenna ♪
♪ You can tell the whole story With a taste" ♪
♪ Yeah, no, That's exactly what I mean ♪
♪ I swear that as the flavors Mixed and melted ♪
♪ I could hear the sirens sing ♪
♪ It was truly something special One taste ♪
♪ And I want the whole thing ♪
♪ I must say ♪
♪ It felt like I got carried away ♪
♪ Intoxicated ♪
♪ Made me escape ♪
♪ The room I was in ♪
♪ I can't help but wonder ♪
♪ How your hands Must have felt ♪
♪ Creating Such a masterful thing ♪
♪ Just one bite ♪
♪ Caused all that ♪
♪ Wondering? ♪
♪ It only takes a taste ♪
♪ When you know it's good ♪
♪ Sometimes one bite ♪
♪ Is more than enough ♪
♪ To know you want more ♪
♪ Of the thing you just got ♪
♪ A taste of ♪
-[bus pulls up] -Oh, there's my bus.
[chuckles]
it was nice talking with you, Dr. Pomatter.
Yeah, Jenna, give me a call anytime. I'm here.
For all your questions and concerns.
Good to know, Dr. Pomatter.
-[music continues] -[applause]
[toolbox slams]
Earl, hey. It's Tuesday night.
What are you doing home so early?
Well thanks to my asshole foreman
it looks like you are gonna be seeing me home a lot.
[laughs] This dude says I'm late
one too many times and...
fires me.
But I told him you can take this toolbox
and shove it up your ass
'cause I don't even want this goddamn job.
Then-- then he calls me arrogant!
Me? Arrogant?
No, see, now that loser has been waiting
to stick it to me since high school.
-Earl, I'm sorry. -Don't feel sorry for me.
Don't feel sorry for me.
I am fine!
I am celebrating.
Well...
looks like you the one that's gonna be
paying the bills around here now.
How'd we do today?
What, are you shitting me?
-That can't be all you earned. -It was a slow day.
Maybe you need to move a little faster.
Where's my kiss?
No, come here. Kiss me like you mean it.
Oh, Earl, I'm sorry. I'm not feeling so good today.
Well, you feel all right to me.
Come on, baby.
Take my bad day away.
Hey, hey, hey, hey.
Let me get you something to eat.
Oh, I've brought some leftovers from work.
Chicken pot pie.
You think I don't see what you're doing?
Do you think that I am stupid?
-No. -No?
No, Earl. I know you had a hard day.
I thought maybe some warm pie would make you--
-I'm not fuckin' hungry! -Earl, calm down.
Calm down? I'll show you calm.
Earl!
I'm pregnant!
What?
Well, when-- when the hell were you gonna tell me?
Well, I--
I know you've were under a lot of pressure.
And I was waiting for the right time.
Well, you have great timing!
I'm sorry. Earl, I'm sorry.
No wonder you've been looking so tired all the time.
Huh.
Hey, come here.
Oh, my God.
Come here.
Come here. Come sit down here.
Careful.
Oh, you--
you little butterball!
[laughs]
Well, how do you like that?
I'm-- I'm gonna have a baby?
Little Earl Junior.
The legend lives on!
Wait a minute.
What happens if you decide
to love the baby more than you love me?
Hey, listen, women do it now. They do it all the time.
They have a baby and then it's just to hell with the man.
You're jealous of the baby?
No. I don't get jealous. That is below me.
I'm just talking it out. I'm talking out my feelings.
Maybe I just need you
to make me a little promise
that you won't go loving that baby more than you love me.
-Okay. -Yeah, but you say I promise.
-Earl, I said okay. -Hey.
Hey.
I need this from you.
It's you and me first, right?
That's the way it's always been.
[rock guitar music]
♪ Remember my clean shave ♪
♪ Back in our old days ♪
♪ When we were just kids ♪
♪ I had my six-string ♪
♪ And you had Your own thing ♪
♪ Though I don't remember What it is ♪
♪ I wrote you love songs ♪
♪ And you liked that sad one ♪
♪ So I played it all the time ♪
♪ What was that one line? ♪
♪ Something about sunshine ♪
♪ I sang it every night ♪
♪ Where the sun don't shine ♪
No, that is not how that song went.
♪ When the sun won't shine ♪
That's not it either.
What was it, baby?
♪ Till the sun don't shine ♪
♪ You will still be mine ♪
That's right.
♪ Man what a whirlwind ♪
♪ And so much is happening ♪
♪ And mostly to me ♪
♪ Yeah ♪
♪ We've come such a long way ♪
♪ No turning back now, babe ♪
♪ You're my family ♪
Now promise me.
♪ Till the end of time ♪
♪ These are ties that bind ♪
Come on, sing it, honey.
♪ Till the sun don't shine ♪
♪ You will still be mine ♪
[music continues]
[applause]
[music ends]
Honey, is it my imagination
or is my left boob drooping down even lower today?
Oh, Lord.
I'm starting to feel like something Picasso woulda made.
How'd you do?
Between Mr. Frugalman on table five
and "Hey, I'll Get You Next Time" on table seven,
not great.
Thinking about picking up some extra shifts.
Are you crazy? You work hard enough already.
Oh, what is this doing next to the cinnamon?
-Oh, I was looking for that. -Uh-huh.
You can't write your baby a letter from the spice rack.
-I'm not much of a letter writer. -Are you okay?
[Dawn whimpering]
I'm having a small anxiety attack.
I got a message on my profile.
Girl, you've been sitting on this news all day?
He calls himself OKCWithABullet, 32.
Has all his hair, kind smile,
loves poetry, Pavarotti and puzzles.
-He sounds perfect! -Look at you.
They're already lining up. Take a number.
Yeah. [laughs] Oh, dear, it's happening.
[laughs]
It's really happening.
I made a five-minute date with him tonight.
[both] Five minutes?
Well, this way if it's a disaster
I can get back in time for History's Mysteries.
Okay, now, Dawn,
you are such a natural beauty,
but 'cause it's such a special occasion,
would you let me put just a tad of makeup on you
and perhaps...
pull that pony down...
just for one night?
Well, it is important
-to make a good first impression. -[squeals]
Jenna, may I ask you to make
your Meet Your Dream Chocolate Cream pie to take to him?
I will make you a really special one.
One like my mama used to.
You wouldn't think all the ingredients would go together, but they do.
What's going to be in it?
I'm going to switch the chocolate...
from bittersweet to creamy milk...
and add a touch of passion fruit.
Oh, my God!
[laughs]
And then I'll mix in
something that will make the impossible possible.
Some exotic spice
that will make you see clearly before it's too late.
What is going on with you, girl?
You know that pie contest that's coming to Springfield?
Mm-hmm.
I'm gonna do it.
I'm gonna find a way to save some money to go there and enter it.
Now that's the first thing you've said that's made any sense in a very long time.
And if a miracle happens and I win it,
I'm gonna take that prize money and I'm gonna...
You're gonna leave Earl.
Yeah.
And just run away from here.
Wow.
Honey, you can leave Earl
without running away from here.
It's not that easy.
Well, all right.
You go ahead.
Get yourself a little pie shop somewhere.
Somewhere people could really use a little pie shop.
Like Europe.
Or New Jersey.
Jenna's Pie Palace.
Jenna's Pastry Heaven.
Jenna's Pie In The Sky.
♪ Sugar ♪
Come on, honey. We're not playing.
♪ Sugar, butter ♪
-♪ Flour ♪ -[blows]
♪ Sometimes I still see her ♪
♪ My mother the dreamer ♪
♪ She'd say nothing's Impossible child ♪
♪ A dream needs believing ♪
♪ To taste like the real thing ♪
♪ Like some stranger You recognize ♪
♪ So pure ♪
♪ So pure, so electric ♪
♪ So sure ♪
♪ So sure, so connected ♪
♪ To those little believers ♪
♪ Inside ♪
♪ May we all be ♪
♪ So lucky ♪
♪ But dreams are elusive ♪
♪ The kind We've gotten used to ♪
♪ Is nothing I can feel ♪
-♪ Nothing I can hold ♪ -♪ Nothing I can have ♪
♪ Nothing that I know ♪
♪ Dreams come and they go ♪
♪ But hold them And keep them ♪
♪ And know that you need them ♪
♪ And know that You need them ♪
♪ When your breaking point's All that ♪
♪ You have ♪
♪ A dream is a soft place To land ♪
♪ May we all be ♪
♪ So lucky ♪
[gasps]
Oh, look what you did.
You made me almost pretty.
Almost pretty? You're beautiful.
What the hell did y'all put in that pie?
I gonna leave before I die of estrogen asphyxiation.
Don't forget to turn out the lights.
[clicks]
[chuckles]
Who are you putting on lipstick for?
You dolling up for the diaper change?
[laughs] Well...
maybe I got a little secret.
-Maybe I'm doing a little dreaming, too. -What?
-I can't tell you yet. -Why not?
Bye-bye, Dawn.
Now don't do anything I haven't done.
Get yourself a five-minute condom.
-Becky! -[laughs]
Adios, ladies.
[laughing]
You are the queen of kindness and goodness.
♪ May we all be ♪
♪ So lucky ♪
[music picks up]
[applause]
[crashes]
Hiya, handsome. What'll it be?
Oh, you're so lovely, but no, I don't want you as my waitress.
No. I want her. I want that lady right there.
I'm so sorry, hon, but you're sitting in my station.
But I don't want you. I want her.
Well, I do like a man who knows what he wants.
Is she a good friend of yours? What can you tell me about her?
What are her likes and her dislikes?
And does she have any food allergies or pollen sensitivities?
Excuse me, darling.
I'm gonna go talk to Dawn for a minute,
see if she won't tell you herself.
That would be wonderful.
-I thought you'd like that. -I do. I do.
Dawn!
There is a man at table five
on a mission with your name on it.
His name is Ogie.
Short for Oklahoma.
He's OKCwithaBullet!
Ahh!
He's an amateur magician,
does competitive clog dancing
and only eats white food on Wednesdays.
-He told me we were soulmates. -Girl!
I made the mistake of telling him I work here.
Oh, I don't know, Dawn. I think it sounds like he's got potential.
He took me through the entire medical
and psychiatric history of his whole family.
Oh, he's laying it all on the table.
I just wanted a quiet first date.
Stimulating conversation.
First man who ever shows any interest in me
and he turns out to be a mad, clogging elf.
-[slams] -[gasps]
I'm telling you, Jenna, that magic love pie was too good.
I should never have brought it with me.
I don't think it was the pie, Dawn.
I think it was you.
-Come with me. -I would, but I gotta go pee.
Is anyone gonna take the elf's order?
Would you shut up, Cal?
That happens to be OKCwithaBullet!
Cue DawnRising.
-No. -[whispering]
-Okay, just open this up a little bit. -Becky, no!
Hello, good morning. Hello. I told you I didn't want
to see you again. May I take your order?
I'll have an egg white omelet
with cottage cheese and a side of mayonnaise.
I have very exquisite taste.
What kind of toast with that? White or wheat?
Why am I even asking? It's Wednesday!
You see? We already know each other so intimately.
-[bell rings] -You don't know me.
I do.
You're NewDawnRising.
Easily misunderstood,
but I see your true beauty.
Normally I wouldn't do this.
Actually, I've never done this.
But that five minutes,
it felt like a whole 15
and I am certain we're meant to be together.
I don't even know you.
I'm a tax auditor.
I drive a very nice
subcompact Toyota Yaris.
And I love my mother.
What else do you need to know about me?
Your dessert order.
I'll have a slice
of the White Knuckle Cream Pie.
With or without whipped cream?
You choose. I trust you implicitly.
But if you do choose to have whipped cream,
I would love it on the side, not touching the pie.
I hate it when it touches the pie.
No, it soggies the crust.
Yeah, and you can't control the whipped cream...
[both] ...to pie ratio to create the perfect bite.
[snort laughs]
Oh, there's that laugh.
That intoxicating laugh.
[gasps] Dawn, you inspire poetry in me.
[moans] I'm making one up.
I'm making one up here right here on the spot and here it comes.
All of my life I've loved turtles.
And you, Dawn, are the queen.
Da, da, da, da, da.
And something in between.
I'm gonna work on the middle section.
I am. You like that one, don't you, Dawn?
Please just take your mixed bouquet and leave.
-Just leave! -Dawn.
♪ I will never Let you let me leave I promise I'm not lying ♪
♪ Go ahead ask anybody Who has seen me trying ♪
♪ I'm not going ♪
♪ If it seems like I did I'm probably waiting outside ♪
♪ Such a stubborn man You'll likely never Meet another ♪
♪ When we have our family dinner You can ask my mother ♪
♪ She's the best ♪
♪ You'll learn more about her On our family history test ♪
♪ I'm gonna do this right ♪
♪ Show you I'm not moving ♪
♪ Wherever you go I won't be far to follow ♪
♪ Oh, gonna love you so ♪
♪ You'll learn what I already know ♪
♪ I love you means You're never ever ever Getting rid of me ♪
♪ You can try ♪
♪ Oh, but I ♪
♪ I love you means You're never ever ever Getting rid of me ♪
-Ready for your check? -Not quite!
Pie for--
-pie for everybody! -[cheers]
♪ I grew up an only child In a suburb of the city ♪
♪ Spent my days alone my only Friend was a stray kitty ♪
-♪ Called Sardine ♪ -♪ Sardine ♪
♪ I thought it was hilarious To call a cat a kind of fish ♪
♪ She played hard to get Hissing while She scratched me ♪
♪ What she was trying to say Was "Ogie, come and catch me ♪
♪ I learned quickly ♪
♪ That her perseverance Stood between a cat ♪
♪ And her New best friend me ♪
♪ Oh, I'm gonna Do this right ♪
♪ Show you I'm not moving ♪
♪ Wherever you go I won't be far to follow ♪
♪ Oh, gonna love you so ♪
♪ You'll learn what I already know ♪
♪ I love you means You're never ever ever Getting rid of me ♪
When you say never...
♪ You can try ♪
♪ Oh, but I ♪
I love you means blah, blah, yip, yap. Get back to work!
♪ Oh ♪
♪ You can try ♪
♪ Oh, but I ♪
♪ I love you means You're never ever ever Getting rid of me ♪
-[music ends] -[applause]
♪ You can try ♪
♪ Oh, but I ♪
♪ I love you means You're never ever ever Getting rid of me ♪
[applause]
[inhales]
[wheezing]
[coughs]
[inhales]
So I'll pick you up Sunday at seven?
Maybe?
Maybe!
There's a reading at Rainard Park
of the Federalist Papers.
How'd you know about that?
I played Paul Revere in 42 Revolutionary War reenactments.
40 times technically I was the standby Revere,
but two times the Paul was out, I went on.
And I played it.
[laughs] I did, I played it.
I got injured once, through. I had a bayonet issue.
And it was real, real bad
and I fell off my horse and my spleen was removed.
So it's--
One if by land, two if by sea.
And I, on the opposite shore, will be.
[both sigh]
[marching drumbeat]
[applause]
The elf and the turtle.
An epic romance.
♪ Sugar ♪
It Almost Makes You Believe Again pie.
Reach for an ingredient long forgotten
in the back of your cupboard.
Like poppy seeds.
Something you bought but forgot you had.
-Throw in gingersnaps... -[snaps fingers]
...and tapioca
till they combine unexpectedly.
And mix it with all your questions and concerns.
-[bell dings] -Hi. Is Dr. Pomatter there?
Jenna Hunterson. I'm his patient.
-[Cal rings bell] -Hey.
Hi, Dr. Pomatter. Listen, I'm sure it's nothing,
but you said to call with any questions or concerns.
This morning, um, I'm bleeding a little bit.
No. No. It's very very light.
Come in to see you?
Tomorrow morning? You're open at 7:00 AM?
Excuse me, but I've got a short stack of perfectly round
meticulously made, once warm,
buttermilk blueberry pancakes to take to table six
because even though I'm pregnant
I'm working, Dr. Pomfritter!
Hey, listen, Doc, while I've got you on the line, between you and me,
I have a bit of a gas issue.
Yeah, I tried that. Made it worse.
It cleared the room.
-[knocks] -Yes. Yes.
-Hello? Hi. -Hi. Hi.
-Where is everybody? -No one's here yet.
I came in a little early to see you.
Oh. OKay.
Oh, here. I brought you
some Believe Again Poppy Seed Pocket pies.
Oh, my God. Thank you.
Um, so, you know, we spoke on the phone
and you said that the bleeding was very mild?
-Yes. -Has that stopped?
Yeah. I only saw it the one time.
Oh, good. You're fine.
Oh, my God!
Well, aren't you going to examine me?
No. No.
No need.
This is unbelievably delicious.
I mean, delicious is not even a good enough word
for what it is.
What you do with food, it is unearthly.
-Thank you. -Yeah.
Then am I okay? I mean, there's nothing's wrong with me?
Oh, God, no, no, no. Nothing's wrong with you.
Look, light spotting is a perfectly
normal symptom in early pregnancy.
Holy shit.
Is that everything you have to say?
-No. -Well, what?
Nothing.
[clears throat]
You can-- you can go.
I'm just gonna-- I'm gonna go ahead and I'm gonna see you
at your next regularly scheduled appointment.
Don't hesitate to call if you have any--
-Questions or concerns. -Any and all.
Wait, wait, wait. Why did you have me come all the way here
if spotting is a perfectly normal symptom in early pregnancy?
I had to get up early and take a bus and walk five blocks
just to hear that spotting is a perfectly normal symptom?
I have no response to that.
What time does this office normally open, Doctor?
-8:30? -9:00.
9:00? You came in here two hours early
to tell me that spotting is a perfectly normal symptom in early pregnancy?
It seems that way, yes.
-Goodbye, Dr. Pomatter. -Bye, Jenna.
You know what?
I think you're strange.
And I'm not sure I want you to be my doctor anymore.
-You make me uncomfortable. -No, Jenna, no. I'm sorry.
I'm so sorry. I will not do it anymore.
Look, whatever it is that I do,
you should not be uncomfortable during this time.
-You're doing it again! -Wait, what did I do?
I don't know, you know, it's the nice guy
talky thing you do.
You just-- forget it.
Jen--
Uh, Jenna, you forgot your--
[applause]
-Oh, shit! -Whoa, whoa, whoa!
-What do you want? -I want to see you again.
I want to talk to you somewhere outside of here.
Can we have coffee together or something?
I can't have coffee.
It's on the bad food list you gave me.
What kind of doctor are you?
[upbeat music]
♪ It's a bad idea Me and you ♪
Yeah, no, I totally agree.
♪ It's a bad idea Me and you ♪
♪ And I have never known Anything so true ♪
♪ It's a terrible idea Me and you ♪
♪ You have a wife ♪
♪ And you have a husband ♪
♪ You're my doctor ♪
♪ You've got a baby coming ♪
♪ It's a bad idea Me and you ♪
♪ Let's just keep kissing Till we come to ♪
♪ Heart stop racing, Let's face it ♪
♪ Making mistakes Like this ♪
♪ Will make worse what Was all ready pretty bad ♪
♪ Mind stop running ♪
♪ It's time we just Let this thing go ♪
♪ It was a pretty good Bad idea ♪
♪ Wasn't it, though? ♪
♪ It's a bad idea Me and you ♪
♪ Hold me close While I think this through ♪
♪ Yeah, it's a very poor idea Me and you ♪
♪ Heart stop racing, Let's face it ♪
♪ Making mistakes like this ♪
♪ Will make worse what was Already pretty bad ♪
♪ Mind stop running ♪
♪ It's time we just Let this thing go ♪
♪ It was a pretty good Bad idea ♪
♪ Wasn't it, though? ♪
♪ I know ♪
♪ What's right for me ♪
♪ It's the only thing ♪
-♪ I've ever done ♪ -♪ I've ever done ♪
♪ What if I never see myself Ever be ♪
♪ Anything more than what ♪
♪ I've already become ♪
♪ I need a bad idea I need a bad idea ♪
♪ Just one ♪
♪ Heart keep racing, Let's make mistakes ♪
♪ Let us say so what ♪
♪ And make worse what was Already pretty bad ♪
♪ This secret is safe ♪
♪ No reason To throw it away ♪
♪ When there's love To be had ♪
♪ Hold me tight As I tell myself ♪
♪ That you might make sense ♪
♪ And make good what Has been just so bad ♪
♪ Let's see this through ♪
♪ It's a pretty good Bad idea ♪
-♪ Me and you ♪ -♪ Me and you ♪
[applause]
-[music ends] -[applause]
[upbeat music]
♪ Sugar ♪
I Wanna Play Doctor With My Gynecologist pie.
[laughs] Vanilla custard.
Drizzled with warm melted caramel.
And nuts.
Totally nuts.
Topped with honey-kissed whipped cream and banana.
Hold the banana.
-Wake the hell up! -[alarm bell rings]
I Can't Have An Affair Because It's Wrong
and I Don't Want Earl to Kill Me pie.
Add cold water to chocolate stirrups.
I mean syrup.
Pour into a truly flakey crust.
Don't over bake, could explode at any minute.
[tray crashes]
Oh, my God! I didn't see anything.
I just need to find a place to throw up.
Look, Jenna, it just happened.
Cal? Cal?
Well, he's got such nice strong hands.
All right, I wasn't looking for it, it was an accident.
An affair is not an accident.
Dropping a tray is an accident.
Cal didn't just trip into your va-jay-jay.
What?
[applause]
Look, I'm just having me a little adventure
after years and years of lots of nothing.
It was getting so quiet down there you could hear an echo.
What about your husband?
My husband wears Pampers, curses constantly,
and sleeps in a separate room.
Well, why don't you just leave him, Becky?
Because I love him. I wouldn't leave him
just 'cause I have to change his diaper three times a day.
What kind of person would do that?
Well, what kind of person has an affair with Cal
who's married to Ethel?
Well, Cal thinks she's gay.
Look, they ain't slept together in 15 years.
Most married couples haven't slept together in 15 years.
But we know Ethel and she's not...
-She could be. -Mm-hmm.
But if he thinks she's gay, why don't they just divorce?
Because he loves her. What kind of man
would leave his wife just 'cause she's gay?
-She-- -Hey, hey, hey, hey.
Now you're supposed to be my friend, not Ethel's.
And I didn't say nothing about your early morning visit to the doc
when you came back with your dress on inside out
'cause you were too busy putting the pap back in smear.
Okay, that was one time
and I was not in my right mind.
-I put the lid on it. -Of course you did.
What's that supposed to mean.
Just go back to your pantry, Jenna.
Bake yourself another Bury The Bullshit pie.
Well, you got me all figured out, don't you?
You got everything all figured out.
It's the world according to Becky.
♪ Go ahead, Throw your rocks at me ♪
♪ From your little glass house And then take off running ♪
♪ You're no better than me ♪
♪ We've both made mistakes, Haven't we? ♪
♪ I won't undo What I'm doing ♪
♪ To sit in judgment Of what makes us human ♪
♪ I don't claim To be proud but ♪
♪ My head won't be hung In shame ♪
♪ I didn't plan it But the light turned red ♪
♪ And I ran it ♪
♪ And I'm still standing ♪
♪ It's not what I wanted But now that it's right here ♪
♪ I understand it ♪
♪ A story written By my own hand ♪
♪ It's life biting Right at your heels ♪
♪ I didn't plan it ♪
♪ But it's finally Something to feel ♪
Becky, I can't go there.
Honey, we're already there.
♪ Look around you Ain't no saints here, baby ♪
♪ We're all just looking For a little less crazy ♪
♪ And sometimes It's a hard left turn ♪
♪ Down a road you never Thought you'd see ♪
♪ I didn't plan it ♪
♪ Taking back what's been Taken for granted ♪
♪ And I can't stand it ♪
♪ I'm sick of the way I've been Waiting to break free ♪
♪ I needed saving ♪
♪ And a good mistake Needed making ♪
♪ Maybe you need The same thing ♪
♪ Oh, something to feel ♪
♪ To race through your blood And remind you you're here ♪
♪ To open your eyes And look around ♪
♪ And see the sky When you're underground ♪
♪ I didn't plan it ♪
♪ But that's life ♪
♪ And I'm finally Feeling alive ♪
♪ It's not right ♪
♪ But it's mine ♪
♪ And it's finally ♪
♪ Something to feel ♪
[applause]
[upbeat music]
-Hello, Mrs. Hunterson. -Hello, Doctor Pomatter.
-How have you been feeling? -Fine.
Oh, how nice, you brought a pie.
What kind is it?
A Little Wild, Wild Berry pie.
-Oh, well, thank you. -No, thank you. Thank you, Nurse Norma.
I'm gonna take Mrs. Hunterson's blood.
I need you to go and reweigh Mrs. Morrissey.
-But I already did that. -Can you please? Please!
It's important. It's like it's crucial.
She's coming, Mrs. Morrisey! Don't worry!
I don't know what the hell this man talking about.
Ain't nothing but a country club doctor.
-Don't do that again. -What? Bring a pie?
No, not that. Of course not that.
I meant go away for a full month and not call me.
Well, I didn't have any questions or concerns.
Well, don't do that.
This is craziness, Dr. Pomatter.
Can you please call me Jim?
No!
I won't.
Okay. Don't.
You know?
Dr. Pomatter is fine.
I guess we're just officially forgetting
everything that happened between us then.
Yes. We officially are.
Jenna, I got to apologize for it.
No, no, no, no. I almost called you just to apologize.
I just want you to know that it's never gonna happen again.
All right? From now on our relationship,
it's a strictly medical, professional one.
Jenna, no!
Not with the door open.
Oh!
[applause]
Mrs. Morrissey still weigh 142 pounds.
Thank you, Nurse Norma. Mrs. Hunterson, are you still taking
your pre-natal vitamins every day?
-Oh, faithfully. -Faithfully, my ass.
[applause]
Well, good. I'd like you to come back again tomorrow.
-Tomorrow? -Yes. Are we on the same page now?
-We're on the same page. -We're all on the same page.
[upbeat music]
♪ Hearts keep racing ♪
♪ There is no mistaking ♪
♪ We can't come back From this ♪
♪ Good 'cause I want more Of what I had ♪
-♪ It feels so good to -♪ Feels so good ♪
♪ To be bad To be bad ♪
[moans]
I'm very pleased with your progress, Mrs. Hunterson.
Thank you, Doctor.
[music continues]
Pineapple Upside Down pie.
[music continues]
Your hormone levels are rising beautifully, Mrs. Hunterson.
[music continues]
In the Dark Dark Chocolate pie.
[music continues]
[applause]
♪ Take this bad idea And walk this wire ♪
♪ Throw your spark Into oil and fire ♪
♪ Chance won't come Every single day ♪
♪ So don't throw it away Don't throw it away ♪
♪ We might burn, But we might get saved ♪
♪ I don't feel much fire At all these days ♪
♪ Feels so good to ♪
♪ Feels so good To be bad ♪
The British are coming!
-[music ends] -[applause]
[music continues]
[bell rings]
Heya, Joe. How are you today?
Same bastard as yesterday, Jenna.
The question is how are you?
Same train wreck.
And how's the charming husband?
-Charming as ever. -Right.
And the lipstick smudger?
-What? -Oh, you know,
the dog on the side? The affair.
Okay, I'm--
I'm not having an "affair" affair.
-It's just a-- -An affair.
Your lipstick's all smudged
like someone gave you a good one.
When you're done wiping away your indiscretions,
-you wanna hear your horoscope? -No.
"Aquarius. Even if you have a miserable snake husband,
you probably shouldn't be having no affair,
'cause it's beneath you
and could make you seem like a common...
hussy.
Not to mention the pain you could cause
to other people."
This afternoon I will have the Singing Tuney Fish Casserole,
no pickle on the plate.
Well-done Frenchie fries. On their own plate.
And Jenna's Devil's Food Oasis pie.
That's the one you should bake for that contest
so you can win that money
and leave your husband fair and square
and smudge your lipstick with whomever the hell you want.
Joe you really think that pie is good enough to win?
Oh, that pie is a thing of beauty.
How each flavor opens itself, one by one,
-like a chapter in a book. -[bell rings]
First you get flooded with chocolate,
dark and bittersweet like an old flame.
And then strawberry,
the way strawberry was always supposed to taste
but never knew how.
In fact, you know what? Forget all the other stuff I ordered.
Just bring me the damn pie. What are you waiting for?
I don't believe for one second
that you're as mean as you play.
You tip me better than anyone.
If you're noticing I'm having a hard time walking today,
Keep it between us.
[laughs]
This is really heating up.
He is so passionate.
You wouldn't know it to look at him,
but he is a sexual dynamo.
No, you wouldn't know it.
Well, he's amorous yet clean and well organized.
And when he recites his spontaneous poetry,
well... [snort laughs]
I'm multi-orgasmic.
I had no idea!
No, I didn't either and believe me
it's something I did not need to know.
Order up.
Perhaps you could take some pointers, Cal.
Perhaps you could take this slice
of Twisted Kentucky Pecan pie to table five.
I didn't realize it was hot and ready.
Girl, it's been hot all morning.
[intense guitar riff]
Hey, buddy.
I'm waiting on Dawn.
She's meeting my mother tonight.
I'm taking them to Stanton Grove for the steak dinner.
It's getting serious. Real, real serious.
Come on man, you got this.
-Ooh. -Hey.
Breathe.
[inhales]
Dawn Pinkett!
Ogie?
Every day I think of you,
I think yes.
Oh, he's making me a poem right here.
We hold these truths to be self-evident.
Yes. I am more than he who audits.
I am poetry and sex
and I'm living a dream. Love.
Yes. Uh...
uh-huh. Yes.
Oh, my God.
Will you bus my tables so I can...
[both] Yes!
Oh, thank you. You know, Jenna, I must admit
I don't really feel I understood the Declaration of Independence until now.
Life, liberty...
And the Pursuit of Happiness pie.
♪ Sugar ♪
♪ Sugar, butter, flour ♪
Meld warm Golden Delicious apples
with free flowing brown sugar.
Mix with cinnamon and allspice.
Fold in cocoa chiffon...
until they merge together perfectly.
Top with peaks of everlasting Chantilly cream.
-Missus... -Hunterson?
And dust gently with powdered sugar.
Mrs. Hunterson?
And garnish with rose petals.
Mrs. Hunterson!
Doctor Pomatter and his wife
had to fly back east for a funeral this morning.
Oh, he flew back east with his wife?
Yes.
So guess who's gonna examine your cha-cha today?
Me.
[laughs]
I'm just kidding.
You look like shit, girl.
You feeling okay?
Yeah. I'm fine. I'm just-- you know, the baby.
Of course.
How's it working out with Doctor Pomatter?
Oh, he's very professional.
Isn't he?
Such a lovely bedside manner.
Is that pie for me?
-I guess. -Looks so yummy.
What kind is it?
The Pursuit of Happiness pie.
We could all use a slice of that.
Ah.
Heartbeat strong and steady.
Here, take a listen.
[heart beating]
Dear baby...
[soft piano music]
Let me begin by saying I'm sorry.
Don't take it personally, baby,
if I don't seem like all the other mamas
jumping all over themselves with joy.
I wish I could feel excitement that you're with me now.
Or faith that I'd be a good mama.
Even if my life is a mess.
And the world, as I see it,
isn't so pretty like they'd have you believe in that baby book.
I frankly don't know what I've got to give you, baby.
What if I don't win that contest
and don't have no money
and I can't leave Earl?
What the hell am I gonna do with you then?
Some days I think I should just give you
to a nice family who could give you what I can't.
I wish I could just run away.
What kind of mama is that?
[Jim] Jenna.
What are you doing here? You can't just come here.
I had to see you. It's been weeks.
I can't take this not knowing how you are.
-Dr. Pomatter, we have to end this. -Why?
Because I've been thinking a lot
while you were away with your wife
and I can't live with myself.
But, Jenna, I'm not gonna have a conversation about how crazy this is,
about how bad my judgment is,
about how sorry I am. I'd be lying.
Don't say anything else.
Don't talk me out of it. Just go.
I don't know how to do this.
I haven't felt anything like this.
I haven't felt in a very long time.
Neither have I.
So what now?
Maybe you can teach me how to make a pie.
-Seriously? -Yeah, seriously.
Okay. Sure, I could do that.
Okay, I brought you something.
It's a--
it's a present.
-For me? -Yeah. For you.
Open it.
Oh, my God.
I had your name engraved on the back.
Oh, wow.
It's the most beautiful thing I've ever seen.
It's deep dish.
Non-stick.
Thank you.
I have some gorgeous blackberries.
-I love blackberries. I love them. -Okay.
Okay, we're gonna make one
my mama used to call
Lonely Chicago pie.
-Mm-hmm. -[chuckles]
She had hundreds of different kinds
and they all had real strange names.
Like mama, like daughter.
[soft music]
Yeah.
She had...
such dreams for me.
She'd be so sad to see how my life turned out.
Maybe I'm talking too much.
No.
Mama used to keep me in the kitchen when
Daddy was in one of his moods.
And she'd teach me everything about baking.
We'd sing this little song together.
♪ Let's make a new one, Mama ♪
♪ What do you say? ♪
♪ I love it when you let me Pick out the name ♪
♪ Sugar ♪
♪ And butter ♪
♪ And flour ♪
♪ And mother ♪
What the hell are you doing here?
I'm learning how to make Lonely Chicago pie.
No, I mean here.
Living in this town.
My wife is--
she's doing her residency. We came here because of her.
Are you happy with her? No, don't--
don't answer that.
I--
I'm not used to happy. I tend to be neurotic.
You calm me down.
[soft music]
You make me feel...
peaceful and even needed.
You are so beautiful.
I don't know who you're talking about.
♪ I could find The whole meaning of life ♪
♪ In those sad eyes ♪
♪ They've seen things That you never quite say ♪
♪ But I hear ♪
♪ Come out of hiding I'm right here beside you ♪
♪ And I'll stay there ♪
♪ As long as you'll let me ♪
♪ Because you ♪
♪ Matter to me ♪
♪ Simple and plain ♪
♪ And not much to ask From somebody ♪
♪ You matter to me ♪
♪ I promise you do ♪
♪ You matter, too ♪
♪ I promise you do ♪
♪ You'll see ♪
♪ You matter to me ♪
♪ It's addictive the minute You let yourself think ♪
♪ The things that I say ♪
♪ Just might matter To someone ♪
♪ All of this time I've been keeping my mind ♪
♪ On the running away ♪
♪ And for the first time ♪
♪ I think I'd consider the stay ♪
Dear, baby.
I hope someday somebody wants to hold you
for 20 minutes straight.
They don't pull away,
they don't look at your face,
they don't try to kiss you.
All they do is wrap you up in their arms
and hold on tight without an ounce of selfishness to it.
I hope you become addicted, baby.
I hope you become addicted to saying things
and having them matter to someone.
♪ You matter to me ♪
♪ Simple and plain And not much to ask ♪
♪ From somebody ♪
♪ You matter to me ♪
-♪ I promise you do ♪ -♪ Come out of hiding ♪
-♪ I'm right here beside you ♪ -♪ You matter, too ♪
-♪ As long As you'll have me ♪ -♪ I promise you do ♪
-♪ I do ♪ -♪ You matter, too ♪
♪ You matter to me ♪
♪ You'll see ♪
♪ You matter to me ♪
[applause]
[Revolutionary War marching music]
Dearly Beloved, we are gathered here today
to celebrate the union of Ogie Herbert Eincorn
and Dawn Louise Pinkett,
-to join them together-- -[babbling]
-To join them-- -[babbling]
Wedding poetry happening right here, right now.
♪ Your white dress ♪
♪ Sparks words spontaneous ♪
♪ I'll sing From mountain tops ♪
♪ I am in love, love, love ♪
♪ And I don't care Who knows it ♪
♪ Lucky me ♪
♪ I was ordinary ♪
♪ But with your love you see ♪
♪ I am A poh-oh-oh-oh-oem writer ♪
♪ I will express this If I am able ♪
♪ I love you like a table ♪
♪ My legs Were carved for you ♪
♪ I love you like a table ♪
♪ I am wood And you are glue ♪
♪ Cover me with stuff ♪
♪ I will hold it up ♪
♪ Strong and stable ♪
♪ I love you like a table ♪
♪ I love you, too ♪
♪ And I wanted to try And surprise you ♪
♪ I've written 29 new drafts Of vows that didn't rhyme ♪
♪ 30 was a drum line ♪
-Whoo! -[drumming]
Hey!
-[bell rings] -Hey!
Whoo!
♪ Promise to as best we can ♪
♪ Say I do And tell you that ♪
♪ When I see you ♪
♪ I want to again ♪
[cheering]
The wedding pie, y'all!
Oh, my God! Oh, my God!
What do you call it, Jenna?
Big old slice of Live Your Life pie.
[clapping]
Boy, Jenna, you've really outdone yourself this time.
Now I'm gonna be betting on you to win that contest next week.
Thanks for letting me go, Cal.
Yeah. I'm not such a bad guy, maybe.
Yeah, you're not such a bad guy, maybe.
-Yum, yum, yum, yum, yum, yum! -[giggling]
No, no, no, no, no!
[both laughing]
Look at them.
Happiest day of their lives.
They have no idea the ride they're in for.
Hey, Cal, can I ask you a question?
Shoot.
Are you happy?
I mean, would you call yourself a happy man?
You asking a serious question, I'll tell you.
I'm happy enough.
I don't give much, I don't get much,
but I do try to enjoy whatever comes up.
That's my truth,
summed up for your feminine judgment.
I'm happy enough.
May I have this dance?
[laughs]
Here, I had some big spenders yesterday.
Stash this in the pot towards your entry fee.
No, Becky, I can't take your money.
Not with what you're dealing with at home.
Uh-uh. Come on, just this once.
Let me feel a little philanthropopical now.
I don't want you to worry about nothing
but baking yourself a better life.
All right now?
When you win that contest,
you think you're gonna get one of them big
giant checks that are the size of a door?
Always wondered how you cash one of those.
[laughs]
Maybe we should have an affair.
Uh-uh. No ma'am.
This ain't no affair.
I'm in this for life, okay?
[clapping]
Okay, scoot. Vamoose. Skadoodle.
This reminds me
of my third wedding
to Sara Cherie Caputo.
Now she was a screamer.
-Joe! -I was just trying to point out her good qualities.
Oh, man, she was nasty.
I'm gonna invent a special pie for you
called Old Joe's Horny Past pie.
You should enter that one in that contest.
Wake those old biddies up.
Maybe I'll just bake it for you.
That'd have to wait.
My doctor says I shouldn't be eating
all this sweet stuff.
My liver's acting up.
I got to have a piece of it removed.
-Oh, Joe. -Yeah.
Last time I was in the hospital
the nurse strapped me to a bed,
pulled down my pants and shot me in the ass.
Not too shabby.
So you better promise me
that you will bake to win.
[soft music]
Whoa, whoa, pie-lady. You're shaking.
I don't know what I'm more scared of,
losing or winning.
I don't know, Joe. Maybe I should just make peace
with happy enough like my mama did.
Maybe it's too late for me.
♪ Take it from an old man ♪
♪ Time's just sand Slipping past ♪
♪ We want to hold it In our hands ♪
♪ But no one ever sees ♪
♪ What falls Through the cracks ♪
♪ Take it from an old man ♪
♪ My mistakes have made me ♪
♪ And I am what I am ♪
♪ And though I don't believe In silver linings ♪
♪ I believe There's something in you ♪
♪ I believe in you ♪
♪ Something good Is trying to break through ♪
♪ You might have to fight The good fight ♪
♪ And when you think You can't ♪
♪ You can ♪
♪ Take it from an old man ♪
♪ The days don't stretch Any longer ♪
♪ They've left tracks Upon my skin ♪
♪ But I reckon Made me stronger ♪
♪ But I believe there's Something in you ♪
♪ Something you Should be seeing, too ♪
♪ Bet it all on yourself At least one time ♪
-♪ Cause honey, win or lose ♪ -♪ Win or lose ♪
♪ It's one hell of a ride ♪
♪ And if you lack The strength of your own ♪
♪ Honey, hold out your hand ♪
♪ And take it From an old man ♪
-[music ends] -[applause]
Excuse me, I'm just-- I'm gonna borrow my wife.
Say your goodbyes, we're going home.
-Who invited you? -Have another piece of pie, old man!
-Come on! -Please don't. You'll make it worse.
Let's go.
Jenna! Please stay.
I am so sorry. Bye sweetheart.
-Don't leave! -I love you.
Congratulations.
[tense music]
[music ends]
You must think I'm really stupid.
-No. -No?
[sniffles]
Unzip that cushion.
-I don't want-- -Do it!
What is that, Jenna? Hmm?
What is that?
It's money.
That's money?
Hidden all over the house?
In the drawers,
in the cabinets, in the fucking sofa!
-It's money hidden all over my house. -I'm sorry.
After everything that I have done for you,
you go and hide money from me?
I was the only one that was there for you
after your mama died
and your daddy was piss drunk every night.
You forget about that?!
Do I need this?
Do I need this right now?
Earl, oh, my God, stop! You love that guitar!
You...
are the only thing that I've ever loved.
You are the only person that has ever belonged to me.
You're my wife.
[chuckles]
You are my whole life.
And you having a secret from me...
it just tears me apart.
Why are you hiding money
all over the house?
-I want to go-- -No, no, just tell me you were gonna surprise me.
-No, Earl. -Tell me you were gonna buy me a present.
Because if I ever thought that you weren't happy being my wife,
that you were deceiving me,
I would want to kill myself.
[sobbing] I would want to die.
Baby, please hold me.
[sobbing]
The truth is, Earl--
the truth is...
I was saving that money...
for the baby.
To buy some nice things.
A crib and toys.
It was all for the baby.
It was for the baby?
Yes, Earl. For a crib.
I don't know why you have to make it
so hard, Jenna.
I just want us to be happy.
[soft music]
Dear baby,
if you ever want to know the story of how we bought your crib, I'll tell you.
Your crib was bought with the money
I was gonna use to buy us a new life.
The Springfield Pie Contest is starting next week...
and you and I will not be in attendance.
♪ It's not simple to say ♪
♪ Most days ♪
♪ I don't recognize me ♪
♪ That these shoes And this apron ♪
♪ That place and its patrons ♪
♪ Have taken more Than I gave them ♪
♪ It's not easy to know ♪
♪ I'm not anything ♪
♪ Like I used to be ♪
♪ Although It's true ♪
♪ I was never attention's Sweet center ♪
♪ I still remember That girl ♪
♪ She's imperfect ♪
♪ But she tries ♪
♪ She is good ♪
♪ But she lies ♪
♪ She is hard on herself ♪
♪ She is broken And won't ask for help ♪
♪ She is messy, But she's kind ♪
♪ She is lonely ♪
♪ Most of the time ♪
♪ She is all of this Mixed up ♪
♪ And baked In a beautiful pie ♪
♪ She is gone ♪
♪ But she used to be mine ♪
♪ It's not what I asked for ♪
♪ Sometimes life ♪
♪ Just slips in Through a back door ♪
♪ And carves out a person ♪
♪ And makes you believe It's all true ♪
♪ And now I've got you ♪
♪ And you're not what I asked for ♪
♪ If I'm honest I know I would give it all back ♪
♪ For a chance To start over ♪
♪ And rewrite an ending Or two ♪
♪ For that girl that I knew ♪
♪ Who'd be reckless Just enough ♪
♪ Who gets hurt ♪
♪ But who learns How to toughen up ♪
♪ When she's bruised ♪
♪ And gets used by a man ♪
♪ Who can't love
♪ And then she'll get stuck ♪
♪ And be scared ♪
♪ Of the life That's inside her ♪
♪ Growing stronger each day ♪
♪ Till it finally Reminds her ♪
♪ To fight just a little ♪
♪ To bring back the fire In her eyes ♪
♪ That's been gone ♪
♪ But it used to be mine... ♪
♪ It used to mine... ♪
♪ She is messy ♪
♪ But she's kind ♪
♪ She is lonely ♪
♪ Most of the time
♪ She is all of this Mixed up ♪
♪ And baked In a beautiful pie ♪
♪ She is gone ♪
♪ But she used to be ♪
♪ Mine ♪
[applause]
[music ends]
[groans]
[heavy breathing]
[heart beating]
[exhales]
[soft music]
[heavy breathing continues]
[machines beeping]
[chatter]
[heartbeat quickens]
Jenna, everything's gonna to be okay.
Just make it all go away.
Look, just try and focus on your breathing.
I'm gonna be right here.
Wheel me in.
Excuse me, sir. Do you belong here?
Yes, I'm kin.
[laughs] He sure is!
Joe, are you having your surgery today?
Yeah, later this afternoon.
Becky told me you were here.
I bought you a card...
from gift shop downstairs.
It's silly and flowery
and almost gave me diabetes.
[laughs] Thank you, Joe.
NO, don't look at it now.
Look at it later when all the fuss is over.
Hey, halftime in the lounge.
Colts up 10. What's the ETA in here?
Oh, Earl.
Father to be.
Yeah, how could I forget you?
Don't say nothing smart...
you dumb ass.
Wheel me out.
Dr. Pomatter, this is my husband, Earl.
Oh, Lordy.
Hey, you mind stepping out of the way a sec, Doc,
so I can get a shot of me and my wife on the big day?
Much appreciated. Come on, baby, give me a kiss now.
-Ow! -Oh, my God, that's so dramatic.
-[breathing heavily] -Hey, come on now, babe.
-You're spitting on the lens. -Doctor Pomatter.
-Yes, Jenna? -I want to make sure we're clear about one thing.
-What's that, Jenna? -I want drugs.
I want massive amounts of drugs.
[bag pops]
I want the maximum legal limit of drugs.
-Noted and understood. -Oh, my gosh!
Oh, try and steady your breathing, hon.
[breathing evenly]
Hi, I'm Francine Pomatter.
Jim has told me so much about you.
Did I tell you my wife is a resident here?
Oh, I think you might have mentioned that.
Don't worry, you are in great hands with my husband.
[Jenna laughs]
Is she gonna be here the whole delivery?
I mean, are all the residents gonna be here?
No, no, no, no. They're just here to observe the first stage of labor.
Everybody out.
[Dawn] Jenna! We're here.
Everything's gonna be okay.
Oh, my Lord. The pie is coming out of the oven!
-Order up! -[Jenna screaming]
-♪ Sugar ♪ -[heart beating]
♪ Sugar, butter, flour ♪
♪ Sugar, butter ♪
-[overlapping voices] -[heartbeat increases]
[tense music]
-I don't want no baby, Earl! -[timer dings]
[baby crying]
-[Jim] It's a girl. -[Earl] A girl?
[Norma] Would you like to hold your baby, Mrs. Hunterson?
Mrs. Hunterson? Did you hear me?
Are you okay? Mrs. Hunterson?
Just give her to me.
[trembling breath]
[soft music]
[chuckles]
Oh, my God.
Hey.
Oh, my God.
Now you remember what I said.
Don't you go loving that baby
more than you love me.
I don't love you anymore, Earl.
I haven't in a very long time.
I want a divorce.
Now, that's not very funny, Jenna.
No one's laughing.
I want you the hell out of my life.
[chuckles] You ain't never gonna leave me.
-Watch me. -You ain't gonna do nothing!
Now you better know your place! Get your hands off me!
Don't touch me! Man, you're gonna regret this when you get home.
And you're gonna regret ever saying that
'cause if you ever come within six yard of us,
I will flatten your sorry ass and I will enjoy doing it.
Now get out before I call someone to carry you out.
[applause]
[upbeat music]
♪ Today's a day Like any other ♪
♪ But I am changed I am a mother ♪
♪ Oh, in an instant ♪
♪ And who I was Has disappeared ♪
♪ It doesn't matter Now you're here ♪
-[baby fusses] -♪ So innocent ♪
♪ I was lost ♪
♪ For you to find ♪
♪ And now I'm yours ♪
♪ And you are mine ♪
♪ Two tiny hands A pair of eyes ♪
♪ An unsung melody is mine ♪
♪ For safe-keeping ♪
♪ And I will guard it With my life ♪
♪ I'd hang the moon For it to shine ♪
♪ On her sleeping ♪
♪ Starting here And starting now ♪
♪ I can feel The heart of how ♪
♪ Everything changes ♪
You done did it, girl.
Baby girl,
come meet your Godmamas.
-What? -Me?
[crying] Oh, Jenna!
Oh, I'm gonna call her Lulu.
Yeah, little Lulu
the love of my life.
And we're gonna be happy, little girl.
Not just happy enough.
We're gonna be really happy.
Hello.
Hi, is everyone decent?
-Ogie, come here. Come here. -Okay.
Jenna, Ogie and I want you to know
that you can stay with us for a while until you get back on your feet.
You could stay with us,
but I think Phil's convulsions might frighten the baby.
Look, Ogie. Isn't she beautiful?
There are no words...
but I'm double-parked so I got to run.
I got to go. I love you. I love you.
Love you, new baby. Got to go. I love you. I love you.
I love you. I love you.
Dawn, don't we have some business
in the hallway?
-No. -Dawn.
Bye.
-Oh! -Dawn!
How are you two doing?
You ever seen a baby this beautiful before?
Out of the 762 that I have delivered,
between us, she is definitely the most beautiful.
Nurse Norma, can you get Mrs. Hunterson
her complimentary burp cloths?
Maybe in Connecticut this shit flies,
but Lord have mercy.
I, uh...
I know what you're thinking.
Yeah. no I don't. That's a lie.
I--
what are you thinking?
I'm thinking...
I could never thank you enough
for everything you've done for me.
And I'm thinking your wife's around.
And you shouldn't kiss me.
The way she looks at you.
So much trust.
We could have a big drama that gets drawn out here
for a couple years and makes everyone miserable,
or we could end it right here.
No body count.
So this is goodbye.
I will never forget you.
Another lifetime.
Oh.
You deserve homemade,
but try telling that to a vending machine.
Here.
Thanks For Taking Me To The Moon Moonpie.
[soft music]
♪ I didn't know, But now I see ♪
♪ Sometimes what is Is meant to be ♪
♪ You saved me ♪
♪ My blurry lines My messy life ♪
♪ Come into focus And in time maybe ♪
♪ I can heal ♪
♪ And I can breathe ♪
♪ 'Cause I can feel Myself believe ♪
♪ Everything changes ♪
♪ Oh, my heart's At the wheel now ♪
♪ And all my mistakes They make sense ♪
♪ When I turn them around ♪
♪ Everything changes ♪
♪ What I thought Was so permanent ♪
♪ Fades in the blink Of an eye ♪
♪ There's a new life In front of my face ♪
♪ In the blink of an eye There's a new life ♪
♪ In front of my face ♪
♪ And I know in due time ♪
♪ Every right thing will find Its right place ♪
♪ And I know in due time ♪
♪ Every right thing Will find Its right place ♪
♪ So I swear I'll remember To say we were both ♪
♪ Born today ♪
♪ 'Cause everything's Changed ♪
♪ Everything changes ♪
-[music ends] -[applause]
[gentle music]
Shh, shh. [laughs]
Oh. [laughs]
"To my only friend.
Start fresh.
I'm leaving you--
I'm leaving you the pie shop.
Name a pie for me when I'm gone."
[upbeat music]
Okay, little Lulu.
we got 16 Lulu Lemonade Pies,
eight Polka Dot Peach and four Cocoa Cream.
-How many is that? -A lot!
A lot! Thank you, Miss Lulu.
Wait, it's magic time. Magic time.
All right, I've been practicing. Watch closely.
Are you ready? A one,
a two, a three.
I don't got it. Hey.
-Wow, Mama. -Hi, baby girl.
[Cal] Jenna, what's the special pie today?
Old Joe's Slice of Heaven pie,
with tomato on the side.
[all] On its own plate!
♪ Opening up ♪
♪ Into a new day ♪
♪ Open to love ♪
♪ Isn't it amazing What comes our way? ♪
♪ One at a time Everyday falls in line ♪
♪ Learning to love What's on the inside ♪
♪ Looking around At the same things ♪
♪ All of them changing 'Cause everything does ♪
♪ Life's rearranging ♪
♪ And we're opening up ♪
♪ To what's inside of ♪
♪ What's inside of love... ♪
♪ What's inside? ♪
♪ Sugar, butter, flour ♪
-[music ends] -[applause]
[upbeat music]
[applause]
♪ Isn't it amazing What comes our way? ♪
♪ One at a time Everyday falls in line ♪
♪ Learning to love What's on the inside ♪
♪ Looking around At the same things ♪
♪ All of them changing 'Cause everything does ♪
♪ Life's rearranging ♪
♪ And we're opening up ♪
♪ To what's inside of love... ♪
♪ Opening up Opening up ♪
[applause]
[soft music]
[upbeat music]
♪ Down at the diner ♪
♪ Ah ♪
♪ So many ways to slice A piece of this life ♪
♪ But most of the time It's into quarter life crisis ♪
♪ What's on your plate At any given time ♪
♪ Can change with the specials And a jukebox dime ♪
♪ Down at the diner ♪
♪ Start to feel A little lighter ♪
♪ Down at the diner ♪
♪ Look around and feel better ♪
♪ We're all in this together ♪
♪ I wouldn't call this place A happy end ♪
♪ But I've been round the block And just came back again ♪
♪ I ain't seen the world yet, But I know this much ♪
♪ Might as well call home Wherever my ass ends up ♪
♪ Down at the diner ♪
♪ Don't need to tell them Why I'm here ♪
♪ They know me at the diner ♪
♪ And in every single bite Is a little bit of life ♪
♪ So many days to endure In a row ♪
♪ It's the little things That keep us afloat ♪
♪ Thank God for the oasis ♪
♪ The people and places ♪
♪ That save us and serve As reminder ♪
♪ That's why we come To the diner ♪
♪ At the diner ♪
♪ Ah ♪
♪ Ordered up is how I like My days to find me ♪
♪ Everything here has It's place and timing ♪
♪ I've never been someone Who fits right in ♪
♪ But I found myself Organizing condiments ♪
♪ Down at the diner ♪
♪ I'm exponentially wiser ♪
♪ Down at the diner ♪
♪ Whatever you are There's room at the bar ♪
♪ Every day begin again ♪
♪ Take a seat and settle in ♪
♪ With the rest of us ♪
♪ We're all just ♪
♪ Trying to get by ♪
♪ When it gets hard ♪
♪ This small town ♪
♪ Is who we are ♪
♪ It's the heartbeat ♪
♪ The center ♪
♪ The lifeline you enter ♪
-♪ It's the heartbeat ♪ -♪ The heartbeat ♪
-♪ Center ♪ -♪ The center ♪
-♪ The lifeline you enter ♪ -♪ The lifeline you enter ♪
♪ Every day what you got ♪
♪ Bring it with you Share your love ♪
♪ It's the rest of us ♪
♪ We're all just ♪
♪ Down at the diner ♪
♪ Ah ♪